Head on the Table

Sarcasm, satire and cartoons

God Bless Who?

Written By: Sy - Dec• 30•11

Today I went to the store (a Walgreens) and a man who was standing outside the door asked me if I had any spare change. I said no and he said “God bless you.”

After leaving the store, though, I started to feel bad about my response to the guy, because the truth was that I did have some spare change. In fact the same spare change that I could have given to him fell out of my pocket later that night when I was fishing for a hundred dollars to pay for some pot, and I didn’t even bother to pick it up. So I decided that the next time I don’t want to give a beggar some money I will be honest and just say, “yes, I do, but not for you.” That way I won’t feel bad about lieing.

Also, I’ve noticed that the “God bless you” response is pretty common among beggars, whether you give them money or you don’t, which is kind of ridiculous, because it seems to me that anyone who is out begging on the street doesn’t actually have a lot of influence with God and shouldn’t be trying to bestow his blessing on anyone. So I think I need to point that out also. I mean, if anything, when you give them money, they should probably be saying something like, “Thank you. There is a God.”

But, the next time I do give a beggar some money and he tells me “God bless you,”  I’ll just look him in the eye and say, “Thanks, but he already has, you need to start worrying about yourself” and then give him a second dime.

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