Head on the Table

Sarcasm, satire and cartoons

Serving Suggestions and Lawyering

Written By: Sy - Feb• 24•11

   I was putting groceries away last night and on the front of  a box of instant oatmeal there was a picture of the oatmeal in a bowl, and in small print it said “serving suggestion.” 

 Do they really need to label the picture? I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.

  Maybe there’s a legal reason.  Maybe the company lawyers came up with a scenario where someone could possibly get killed eating oatmeal out of a bowl, so they decided to label the picture as a serving suggestion just in case that did happen and the family tried to sue. Then the company could say “Hey, we didn’t tell anyone to eat it that way, we only made a serving suggestion, not even an eating suggestion. People can dump it out of the bowl and eat it off of the table for all we care.”

   I wouldn’t be surprized.

  This reminds me of a lawyer moment I saw on Court TV last year, when Ashleigh Banfield was still on. I quit tivoing it when they got rid of  her.

  I’m going to have to paraphrase the lawyers words because I don’t have the transcript, but the case was about a man who was on trial for murdering his wife.

  One of the pieces of evidence against the husband was a letter that his murdered wife had given to a friend of hers that said that she was afraid of her husband, and that if anything did happen to her, the authorities should suspect him.

  So, maybe the police are on the right track. Why would the wife write such a letter if there wasn’t a good reason?

  Maybe we should go back to the courtroom and see what the husband’s lawyer has to say about this letter business. As Ashleigh would say “Let’s have a listen.”

  “Are we really supposed to believe that Mrs. so and so was that afraid of her husband. In fact, so afraid of  him  that she even thought he might kill her. So afraid that she did what?  Did she go to the police…no. Did she try to leave him….no.

  So what did she do? She wrote… a letter. What protection is a letter? What, read this after I’m dead? What kind of sense does that make?

  I don’t know if you’re hearing this the same way I did, but, I gotta tell you, this guy had me rolling. I mean, the sarcasm, the gall, the nerve. The lawyering.

  I love these guys.

                          Sy

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2 Comments

  1. psychodoodle says:

    Hmm… Here in Sri Lanka people don’t go around suing people the way you guys do, but I’m looking forward to the time they do :) and the oatmeal company Was probably being cautious like you say :P

  2. sy says:

    yeah, and if you sue for personal injury, the lawyer only gets paid if he wins, otherwise it costs you nothing, well except your personal injury

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