Head on the Table

Sarcasm, satire and cartoons

Collecting My Thoughts on Mice and Men

Written By: Sy - Jan• 12•11

I really am talking about mice. I found mice droppings in my basement, so I bought some of those pellets that cause the mice to hemorrage internally and die a horrible death.

I know, they’re so cute. Except when they are leaving shit in your basement.

Well, six or eight deaths later they seem to be gone, but just to be on the safe side I bought this electronic mouse killing machine.

I never knew that these things existed. It looks like some kind of barbaric, medieval torture device. It kills up to 150 mice on four “C” cell batteries. It lures them into this short maze lined with electrified kill pads, zaps them and then deposits them into a collection chamber that holds up to ten cute little mouse corpses.

I’ve had this thing for about two weeks and so far it hasn’t caught anything, which is good for me and the for the mice.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie “The Collector”, but this trap is like having my very own “Collector” right in my basement.

The movie repulsed, sickened and horrified me. The trap doesn’t, it’s my friend.

I wonder when it’s birthday is?

I’m going to get it a card.


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