Head on the Table

Sarcasm, satire and cartoons

STDs on New Years Eve

Written By: Sy - Dec• 26•10

With all of the New Year’s Eve parties that are coming up, it’s a good time for everyone to be mindful of, and to take precautions to protect themselves from, these nasty STDs, so here we go.

 

1. Starting to Drink.  Take it slow and drink water in between your drinks, you still have a long night ahead of you

2. Starting to Dance. After you’ve been drinking for a while, you may decide that you want to dance and might even think that you are the best dancer in the room. Make sure someone is recording, so later on you can see just how right you were.

3. Starting the Denial. You’re feeling great and you can eat and drink like this all night long.

4. Starting the Decline. Eventually, the more you drink, the worse you’ll feel. That’s ok,  just have more to eat , the food will absorb the alcohol, you’ll feel better and you can start drinking all over again .

5. Stopping the Drinking. You may not remember this part, but it will happen.

6. Staying  up ”til Dawn:  Even if all of  the other partiers have long since gone home or fallen asleep, if you accomplish this feat you will have proven that you are up to the challenges of the new year, and can likely handle any situation that comes your way .

So Happy New Year to everyone from Head on the Table.

Oh, almost forgot. If your idea of partying is just going out to get laid, then don’t forget the rubbers. I think that should cover everything..

 

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